The Dwelling Place: Trauma Informed
The Traumatic Impact of Domestic Violence
At The Dwelling Place (TDP) the women seeking refuge from abuse come with a traumatic history of destructive relationships stemming from childhood and adult intimate partner relationships.
The Dwelling Place’s mission is to honor God’s plan for His people,
“My people shall live in peaceful dwellings, secure homes and undisturbed places of rest.” Isaiah 32:18 (NIV).
By providing newly remodeled secure apartments to live in and programming to address the skills needed to live free from abuse, the women are given time to heal and restore their lives.
“1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men have experienced intimate partner violence... 1 in 10 high school students have experienced physical teen dating violence.”
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
It is important to define the terms being used for the sake of clarity in this message. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) as physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological aggression by a current or former intimate partner. According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men have experienced intimate partner violence. In addition, it is reported that 1 in 10 high school students have experienced physical teen dating violence. The experiences with abuse and/or violence can have long-term consequences related to medical illnesses with cardiac disease, gastrointestinal distress, reproductive problems, depression, anxiety, dissociative identity, PTSD and other mental disorders. The cost to society is billions of dollars annually in medical, mental health, and lost work productivity costs.
TRAUMA
When a woman and her children flee from abuse it is a courageous move into the unknown from the trauma and drama of abuse and violence in the home. They arrive at a shelter with little more than the clothes on their backs and a few articles of clothing and personal items they were able to gather as they fled their abuser. Through the generosity of donations from churches and community, the shelters can supply furnishings and household necessities to help them stabilize during the transition from a chaotic home life to freedom from abuse.
DRAMA
The drama of living in a traumatic environment produces the scars of the emotional, physical, and mental injuries that occurred while in fear for their safety and the safety of their children. Through the programs provided in shelters, the supportive staff, and professional consultants collaborate care for the women and children to ensure that everyone is cared for.
A history of life-threatening events instills fear and terror for everyone in the family. The abusive person, also known as the perpetrator, uses threats, intimidation, and manipulation to assert power and control over women and children to trap family members in the cycle of abuse and violence. A major difficulty for women is isolation without support and limited resources to provide personal safety for the protection of the children. Child abuse occurs along side of IPV and can be damaging physically, emotionally, or mentally and in many cases involves the neglect of the basic needs for survival (food, clothing, shelter, nurture, love, and protection, etc.).
POWER AND CONTROL
The goal of the abuser is to overpower and disempower their victims for the purpose of controlling them. Living in these conditions for any amount of time deprives family members of a safe and secure home in addition to the human dignity of life. The effect manifests in symptoms of mental and emotional confusion leading to the development of pathological anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a host of other complex mental disorders.
The physical, emotional, and mental scars from IPV intensify with longer durations when living in the abuse cycle. Healing is a process of recovery that takes time. The damage from the maltreatment leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms, and negative self-assessments that need adequate time and resources to heal. Through the programs provided in the shelter, the women are given opportunities to realize their God-give worth, value, and importance. It could take several months to years to develop a growing awareness of personal positive God-given beliefs, strengths, and creativity. While living in community with other women in the shelter, they find comfort in hearing what other women have experienced and helping one another heal. At TDP the victim becomes a survivor capable of understanding her capacity for a God-given identity in Christ.
The residents at TDP learn that they can begin a new life in Christ and change the legacy of their family through the support and encouragement of the staff, and the messages in the scriptures:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
RECOVERY
Additionally, all residents and their children are assured of a safe place to live to tell their story, process and heal physically and emotionally, and grieve the violent events of the past. An integral part of the healing process is for survivors to name their trauma, understand how emotional injuries have affected them, and reclaim their self-worth. Many survivors grew up in families where abuse and violence patterns of behavior were present leaving them feeling insecure and vulnerable to future abusive relationships. Lacking the building blocks of healthy self-esteem, a survivor suffers with low self-confidence not knowing how to feel competent to care for herself or her children.
RESOURCES
The rebuilding of the personal identity is accomplished in the atmosphere of God’s grace while learning accountability to the community at TDP. A Case Manager (CM) is assigned to each resident to connect them with community resources, churches, job opportunities, clothing for the family, household items, and housing. CMs encourage personal growth to prepare each woman for living independent lives free from abuse and violence.
A particularly important part of a survivor recovery program is to focus on personal identity and inherent gifts. Generally, there is a 2-year window of time needed to learn to accept her value, worth, and importance as a child of God. This is accomplished by identifying former negative attitudes and beliefs about themselves established in the abusive/violent environments. Learning to overcome the negative attitudes and beliefs is a process of accepting personal strengths, weaknesses, and character flaws with the knowledge that she is lovable in all areas of identity. This can be a challenging progressive awareness reinforced with the CM and therapist.
A NEW BEGINNING
When a survivor recognizes her God-given innate worth, it is a new beginning with a purpose and goals to give her hope for the future. Once goals are established and progress is being made, new dreams are possible for living free from abuse. With a sincere desire to end the destructive cycle, a woman can establish a life-giving and love-producing family culture.
Engagement in individual and group therapy are the first steps to rebuilding the heart, mind, and soul of a survivor. A healthy support system of professionals, working together with the shelter staff, churches, and the community social services are the protective partners helping a woman and her children navigate the transition secure independence in a new home. The search for meaningful work, new friendships, a church, and activities re-establish security and a sense of belonging.
CREATING AWARENESS
There are successful preventive programs that address IPV within communities. Some of the programs are in schools and community organizations, networks of influential adults and peers who are passionate about healing IPV, first responders and mandated reporters are all trained to recognize the warning signs and maladaptive behaviors of partner violence. Case Manager’s, social services, and shelter advocates are available in most communities 24/7 to support families showing the signs of abuse. Since the late 1990’s medical professionals and emergency room staff have been asking patients if they are in a safe relationship. This has been very helpful in capturing a statistical analysis for the prevalence of abuse in the population. Statistics are the basis for assessing the need for funds and programs to educate and treat those who are being abused. Through education and treatment, hope is instilled for ending the cycle of abuse.
The Dwelling Place is a place of healing and hope. Our mission is the commitment to providing peaceful and safe shelter, education, encouragement, support, and therapy for the women and children. The facility is equipped to meet the basic needs of women and children and help them heal their lives while they transform the family legacy.
We are grateful to the Board of Directors, Volunteers and Donors for they make it possible to maintain the ministry in fulfillment of Christ’s mission in Luke 4:18-19 (NIV)
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Jacqueline Skog, MA
Counselor & Psychologist
Peace and Safety, LLC, Counseling and Workshop Services
Source: www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.®